What if you fell into a black hole?

The short answer

A small one stretches you like a noodle. A giant one lets you cross its edge in one piece... and a quick trip around it makes you 36 minutes younger than your friends.

The story, line by line

1. If you ever fall into a black hole, remember this!
2. A small one pulls your feet way harder than your head...
3. So you stretch like a noodle! It's called spaghettification!
4. But if you must fall in... pick a giant one!
5. It stretches you less, so you cross its edge in one piece!
6. You made it! For about twelve point eight seconds.
7. Smart move? Zoom close around it, and fly home.
8. After six hours, you're thirty-six minutes younger than your friends!
9. So of course, you go back for more... oops!